It'll do you some good, get a tan

Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya…Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go, Jamaica….

Ever notice how these evocative names are bursting with island flavor? What about Anguilla, Dominica and Saba? Don’t they make you wanna come… ah! Will you get to pin elle? Then you’ve got St. Maarten, the ugly duckling of island nomenclature. We’ve still managed to be the gambling, shopping, dining and prostitution hub of the Caribbean, despite our sticker. We’re also the lazy susan of drugs. A French judge said to me ‘nous sommes la plaque tournante de la drogue’. Nevertheless, we’re not on the map and our name sucks off the tongue… just as well! Leave we alone, global consciousness... we’re a libertarian experiment. But there’s one meaning that jumps out to us punsters: Ma are ten. While you tan on the island with a sing-song name, savor the vowel.